B-Rant

- submitted by . on 08/30/2009

A Neighbor Lawn Chair War That Won't Die...Reaches Climax?

Our favorite neighbor "lawn chair" warriors are at it again -- Paul and John. But this time with a twist. Frustrated John seems to have turned the tables on freakazoid neighbor-tormentor, Paul...and John is not alone. For context, we've linked below to the earlier email chains between these guys, already posted on Burbia.

For those interested in the backstory, a quick recap:

Freak neighbor [Paul] complained about his normal neighbor [John] keeping a couple lawn chairs on John's own lawn. John replied with what you'd expect: STFU and, by the way, worry about your own yard which is basically a sh*t-hole.
Unsatisfied & coming undone, Paul continued -- with a barrage of messages that included a comical "settlement offer" allowing John to keep only 1 lawn chair on his own lawn. John's response: "No"...and then to erect lawn chair towers in his backyard, in addition to discovering for Paul (& town authorities) a leaking underground oil tank on Paul's yard. Not good for Paul.
Paul seemed to cave -- except, unable to really let go, he demanded that John stop leaving a single garbage can outside John's house and repeated his ask that John only use 1 lawn chair. John responded...by taunting Paul with threats of returning to his [John's] love of outdoor welding and demolition and refusing to accomodate Paul until essentially Paul acted like a normal human being.

Here below is the 4th exchange between these 2 combatants, a week or two after their last exchange and this time John initiating the contact in the hope of finally "resolving" the dispute.

The earlier email exchanges between the two are here:
Email Chains 1 & 2
Email Chain 3

The Latest Email Chain
[Click On Image To Enlarge]

...read more rants

Garage sale. Hurry while the good ~~junk~~ stuff lasts!

Classically trained, handy at home.

• Get it off your chest

Nickleback sucks.

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

Nickleback sucks.

What a fucking nu.

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

What a fucking nu.

this definately seems fake

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

this definately seems fake now

RE: Nickleback sucks.

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

God I hate Nickleback

"Ha, 5% ... I'll take 7 1/2%"

- submitted by Bill Stone on 08/12/2009

That's the funniest thing in the email. He claims he cannot be bought off, but then says he'll do it for 7 1/2%. I'd sue his ass for harrassment all over. I'm pretty sure the police / city govt can fine him for his annoyances too. They should.

They have taken this hoax

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

They have taken this hoax too far, its not even funny anymore. Its time to make up something new ..

Thanks for wasting my fucking time.

Dignity

- submitted by The Lull on 08/12/2009

The man has his pride and will not be bought off. Not for less than 7.5% anyways.

meh

- submitted by Horseonovich on 08/12/2009

So fake, it hurts my body fat.

i dont know if this is fake

- submitted by atkent on 08/12/2009

i dont know if this is fake or not but its f-ing funny. thank you for the entertainment whoever provided it

i dont know if this is fake

- submitted by atkent on 08/12/2009

i dont know if this is fake or not but its f-ing funny. thank you for the entertainment whoever provided it

There are at least 10 great

- submitted by AlisonK on 08/12/2009

There are at least 10 great lines in this first email. If it's real this guy is in the wrong business. If it's fake all the better. Keep it up!!!

Lol

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

Lol

as fake as meryl streep's

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

as fake as meryl streep's vagina

cra

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

lady gaga's got a dick

Google earth link

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/12/2009

Let us see the house, and those terrible lawn chairs....

Fake

- submitted by ASH on 08/13/2009

All these seamed pretty reasonable until now. This is def fake. The author jumped the shark on this one.

fake

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

The author jumped the shark on this segment, almost had me.

fake

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

It's been taken too far now and totally fake.

very fake

- submitted by Blehbleh on 08/13/2009

this is so fake. seriously stop it burbia.

I'm burying the next ones you push out. you had some fun with the 1st 2 times now call it quits. We all know that you're making these up to drag it on and get more attention.

Either show us the house and address or call it quits.

So funny

- submitted by CB on 08/13/2009

Even if its fake, who cares, its all for a good laugh. Why does everything always have to be proven all the time? What does it matter? Its just for a laugh anyways.

what a tool

- submitted by The rajinator on 08/13/2009

If this was here in the U.K. this guy would have had his face smashed into the lawn chair and become a permanent addition to the lawn. You americans and your litigous nature!

FAKE

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

this is as fake a barrack obama

lolwut?

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Barack Obama is not fake!! He's very real, and very dangerous.

nickelback (N)

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

nickelback is the worst band ever, they are nothing but musical pollution.

pics pics pics pics pics or

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

pics pics pics pics pics or IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

Crush your enemies, see them

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women. For 7 1/2 %.

does anyone believe anything

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

does anyone believe anything on this site?

Nickleback

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Hey! Stop that! You'll make us cry!

LOL Just kidding, Nickleback can't read!

fake

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

puhlease... they wanted to stop their safari to fax the papers... definitely fake

Didn't at first

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

but not i think its fake

Just cause there are silly

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Just cause there are silly things in here doesnt mean it's fake. Hyperbole people? did these people really want to leave their safari, no way, did they even pretend to? who cares. the emailer easily could have made it up intentionally to go over the line. wow. who knows or cares. it's funny as shit. the safari line was my favorite along with the "impenetrable fence". he's exaggerating for effect. or it's all made up. either way it's funnier than most crap i read or see online. li-ten up!

Nickelback is awesome.

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Just kidding, Nickelback is horrible. There is no doubt.

On for too long

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Damn this was awesome at first even if it was fake... now its gone too far and its ruined. nice one guys

i'm in nickelback

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

we don't suck, we're just misunderstood. and if you keep posting that we suck i'm going to see that you go to jail for up to three years for harassment. every single one of my friends are lawyers!

I got a pennyback

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

It was my change from breakfast and it sucked about as much as if I'd gotten a nickleback.

I'm a silverback

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

It's a type of gorilla

I shaved my hairy back

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

for this?

0_o

- submitted by Culdesac on 08/13/2009

As for this, bravo, hilarious. Who cares if it's fake, it's funny. Half of everything that's funny is fake anyway.

Also, I really like what anon said about hyperbole. There's a lot of humor in there, humor it, if this is real...probably soared clearly over Paul's head.

My favorite ones were when John was on vacation and more towers started appearing. The desperation in Paul's words rofl "Who is doing this?!?" priceless.

Waiting for my callback

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

I'm an actress killing time reading fake douchebaggery.

Johann Sebastian

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Bach

The Empire

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Strikesback

Chiropractors

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Can't cure nickleback

Welcome

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Back

Kick

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Back

Jack

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

Black

Hahaha

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

That one didn't work

Anonymous

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

I did it for the lulz

Anonymous

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/13/2009

We are anonymous. We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget.

Friendship

- submitted by John on 08/13/2009

7.5% seems reasonable...

Is mr UK retarded?

- submitted by Joe on 08/13/2009

"what a tool

- submitted by The rajinator on 08/13/2009

If this was here in the U.K. this guy would have had his face smashed into the lawn chair and become a permanent addition to the lawn. You americans and your litigous nature!"

HAHA Id love to meet you. Sound like all talk to me. Id love to smash your face in just for bashing a country...further more...which had nothing to do with this post. You just make yourself and your area of living look like a bunch of obnoxious retards when you make statements like that. Come to America and say that and see how fast someone finds you buried in concrete. Pussy.