Overheard in the Burbs

Profound Crossing Guards... On Dematology

Crossing Guard 1: It's overrated

Crossing Guard 2: What?

Crossing Guard 1: Skin cream.

Crossing Guard 2: You use skin cream?

Crossing Guard 1:  No. (pauses) Once. It was overrated.

There Are Things Worse Than Being Bored

Sales Woman: (behind desk, empty office)  I'm bored.

Sales Guy:  (yawns) I'm so f-ing bored.

Sales Woman:  Ever think about doing something else?

Sales Guy:  No way. No. Why would I?

Charmin Or Cottonelle?

Nanny:  (on cell phone)  Not once does that woman lift a finger for that girl. I think if she thought I'd do it, she'd ask me to wipe her own butt. Serious. She knows I wouldn't, though. I think. No way.