Overheard in the Burbs

It's Not What I Say, It's What I Mean

Woman: I need to visit my parents next weekend.

Guy:  (nods head)

Woman: You don't have to go.

Guy:  Really?

Woman: Yea, only if you want to.

Guy:  Ok, I really don't want to. I'll stay. I'll work on the basement.

Woman: Are you serious? You never want to see them. Can't you ever think of someone besides yourself?

Wanna Come Home With Me Tonight, Uh...Whatsamcallit?

Young Woman: He's great. I just love him.

Mother: You said that. But why?

Young Woman: Because he gets me things, unusual pretty things.

Mother: (nods)

Young Woman: I only wish...

Mother: What?

Young Woman: ...he remembered my name.

Officer, I'm Begging You, Don't Do The Right Thing

Driver: Look man I'm gonna be honest -- I gotta be in court next week for driving without a license. Please don't give me a ticket man.

Officer: So (pause) you want me to not give you a ticket for driving without a license because you already got one?

Driver: Uh, Yeah. 'Cause I gotta be in court next week already.

Officer: Why don't you have a license?
...read more