It's wacky out here in the burbs. Real Stories brings you the funniest, most absurd and stranger-than-fiction real stories from all over America. Stories that can only happen in the burbs. We, the B-Team, provide original headlines, plus our own crazy Burbia "takes" on the stories. Send us your stories too. If they meet Burbia's stringent standards (e.g., they make us laugh), we'll tee up them too.

Towns Battle Scourge Of Chewing Gum Bandits

New Britain CT

B-Take: You run through the Milky Ways and Jaw Breakers, where do you expect thieves to turn? Local police speculate the bandits are stealing gum to pay for their drug habits. (We're not joking!) Either the price of gum on the has skyrocketed on the black market -- what, more expensive than stolen flat screen TVs? -- or the cost of drugs in these recessionary times has fallen to historic lows....see the full story.

Finally Something To Make You Forget About (Bad) Sex

D.C.

B-Take: You have to have a rare neurological disorder (called TGA). But if you do, there's a good chance after sex you'll completely forget you had it...along with who you had it with, and how much you regret it. Seriously. Say goodbye to guilt or disgust. (Of course say goodbye to any short-term memory -- but seems a small price to pay.) Remember this (if you can)...as Buddha (and Oprah) say: Just live in the moment. ...see the full story.

Own More Than 3 Cats? Get Outta Town

Dudley MA

B-Take: It's about time towns cracked down on the scourge of cat ownership. If China can limit the number of kids people have, why can't forward-thinking towns limit the number of cats? Because God knows, you let somebody own, say, 4 cats--now illegal in this Massachusetts boro--it's a slippery slope to that fool cat lover moving onto to harder animals, like wolves, zebras and, God forbid, those insufferable constantly blabbing waking-up-the-neighbors leopards....see the full story.