It's wacky out here in the burbs. Real Stories brings you the funniest, most absurd and stranger-than-fiction real stories from all over America. Stories that can only happen in the burbs. We, the B-Team, provide original headlines, plus our own crazy Burbia "takes" on the stories. Send us your stories too. If they meet Burbia's stringent standards (e.g., they make us laugh), we'll tee up them too.

Watch Out For Speeding Vehicles ... In Your Bedroom

Sparks, NV

B-Take: You're in bed sleeping peacefully when suddenly you're startled -- not by the alarm clock but by the crazy neighbor who, inconsiderately drunk, drives his SUV through your livingroom and into your bedroom... pinning you to your wall before rescuers can extract you. It's only a dream, of course...not. Not if you live in a small Nevada town and the driver is a freaked-out waste who thinks he's driving into his ex-girlfriend's house. What happens in Las Vegas Sparks, Nevada stays in Sparks?...see the full story.

Warning: Do Not Drive Your Motorized La-Z-Boy While Drunk

Duluth, MN

B-Take: That's what one man did -- leaving a bar drunk, hopping onto his power La-Z-Boy and quickly smashing his chair into an unsuspecting car. Are there rules against driving chairs while drunk? We don't think so. So why pick on this visionary who had the courage to take the basic, prosaic La-Z-Boy and turn it into a near perfect transport vehicle. Fortunately (we hope) the ACLU will be taking his case -- if authorities can crack down on drunk La-Z-Boy drivers, who's next...drunk minorities driving kitchen bar stools?...see the full story.

Is Your Bear Thirsty? Grab Him A Beer

Hayward WIS

B-Take: That's what one bear did himself -- grab (or paw) a beer -- when he entered a market and strolled the aisles. Turns out he wasn't interested in chips or produce or anything else. Beer -- that's what he was after, and got, as terrified shoppers scattered. No word on whether he paid for the whole 6-pack (or even tipped); but no one in this small town (nor can we) argue with his food shopping priorities....see the full story.