It's wacky out here in the burbs. Real Stories brings you the funniest, most absurd and stranger-than-fiction real stories from all over America. Stories that can only happen in the burbs. We, the B-Team, provide original headlines, plus our own crazy Burbia "takes" on the stories. Send us your stories too. If they meet Burbia's stringent standards (e.g., they make us laugh), we'll tee up them too.

Town Bans Cops Pursuit of Bad Guys

Columbia SC

B-Take: No more running after criminals, even if you spot them in the act. That's the new rule of this small town that apparently wants to spare its police the effort and its budget from (no joke) anticipated injuries caused by running or exercising. Another new rule: any cop not found at a Dunkin Donuts, any time, is fired...no pension, no benefits, no chocolate eclaire....see the full story.

Town Lists 'Porn' Among Key City Services

Gelsenkirchen, GR

B-Take: OK, it was a mistake and the residents who went online and found it -- e.g., next to recycling -- were surprised. But what's so bad? People need recreation and they need info. And, after they get off the phone with the local DMV and city clerk's offices, what better way to forget about the unfathomably crappy city services they've received than a quick stop at the official porn site....see the full story.

Trick or Treat? Homeowner Paints House Pumpkin Orange

Kansas City KS

B-Take: The neighbors are seeing red. It would be bad enough if this color-nut was doing a Halloween gag. But he simply likes orange -- and he says, neighbors be damned, he's keeping the house this festive hue forever. How 'bout some candied apples?...Surely that would make everyone feel better. (But no razor blades, please.)...see the full story.