B-Rant

- submitted by . on 09/01/2009

  

Ultimate Neighbor Lawn Chair War Ends -- With Final Moral Dilemma?

The epic lawn chair war -- nut job Paul vs. victim John -- may finally have reached the end. Or not. Amazingly, after great pressure, Paul appears primed to move away from the neighborhood -- giving John and his neighbors the relief from Paul's ongoing freakazoid behavior they've been aiming for.

And yet...there's a twist. Comically, Paul's moving away may now depend on John's doing the right thing...whatever that is.

As the new email exchange below indicates -- from a day or 2 ago -- John unexpectedbly is faced with a moral dilemma. If he acts one way, he may assure he and his tormented neighbors will be rid of Paul forever. If he acts another way -- the "right" way? -- he'll almost certainly be stuck with Paul for the foreseeble future. But what is the right way?

For those who haven't been following all along, here's the quick backstory which has played out over the past few week.(You can follow the story in detail through each of the nutty earlier emails linked in the summaries below.) The Cliff Notes:

  1. Freak neighbor [Paul] complained about his normal neighbor [John] keeping a couple lawn chairs on John's own lawn. John replied with what you'd expect: STFU and, by the way, worry about your own yard which is basically a sh*t-hole.
    [EARLIER EMAILS 1 & 2]
  2. Unsatisfied & coming undone, Paul continued -- with a barrage of messages that included a comical "settlement offer" allowing John to keep only 1 lawn chair on his own lawn. John's response: "No"...and then to erect lawn chair towers in his backyard, in addition to discovering for Paul (& town authorities) a leaking underground oil tank on Paul's yard. Not good for Paul.
    [EARLIER EMAILS 1 & 2]
  3. Paul seemed to cave -- except, unable to really let go, he demanded that John stop leaving a single garbage can outside John's house and repeated his ask that John only use 1 lawn chair. John responded...by taunting Paul with threats of returning to his [John's] love of outdoor welding and demolition and refusing to accomodate Paul until essentially Paul acted like a normal human being.
    [EARLIER EMAIL 3]
  4. A brief pause. John then rallied the neighbors and presented Paul with a petition urging/pressuring Paul to move from the neighborhood -- and offering Paul a "friendship incentive" (of 1000s of dollars) to do so.
    [EARLIER EMAIL 4]

For a couple weeks there has been nothing -- or nothing we've been aware of -- until now. John just received an email from an old friend or acquaintance -- Jack -- which contained both good news and potentially bad news...The moral dilemma. The email exchange below starts with Paul's forwarding message of this new email to a friend -- it references and contains Jack's email and John's stunned, WTF reaction to it...

The Latest Email -- John's Moral Dilemma

[Click On Image Below To Enlarge]

_______________________

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commentsleave us a comment

gotta tell jack, sorry. it's

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/01/2009

gotta tell jack, sorry. it's the right thing to do. ha ha, joking. are you kidding? let the next neighbors worry about him. say nothing!


I disagree. Tell him. It is

- submitted by mrktrn on 09/01/2009

I disagree. Tell him. It is the right thing and the fact that the bad neighbor is willing to move means he'll find another place maybe. Suck it up and do the right thing I say


OMG this is awesome, i pray

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/01/2009

OMG this is awesome, i pray he tells the guy because i need this to go on. if it's made up still awesome. there's a lot more paul can do like run for national office or blow up his own house trying to clean it. tell him, do the write thing!!


I'm confused

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/01/2009

So some guy just randomly emails the lawn chair guy to ask if he knows this other guy? What neighborhood is this emailing him? And what association emails people for references? I've never heard of that before.


not confusing i don't think.

- submitted by nappingforliving on 09/01/2009

not confusing i don't think. don't think this was random. the guy obviously knew the lawn chair guy, the good guy., seems they were friends. he knew his street. he got this applicant who came from same street and was checking up on him fried-to-friend. at least that's my take. doesn't seem far-fetched. if i was screening somebody who wanted to move into my building or development and i knew somebody who lived near him, i think i'd most definitely try to get some info from somebody who might've known him before


Dear Jack: I know Paul, he

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/01/2009

Dear Jack: I know Paul, he is the best neighbor you could ever have, a model neighbor, he will enrich your community beyond your wildest dreams. Your Friend, John


this is great

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

I can't believe I'm getting into this...finally something to rip me away from those Mexican soap operas. Jack esta un buen hombre. Por favor Juan, Pablo esta su hijo!


promisory estople

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

If you tell a falsehood, you are legally liable should you have known otherwise.

Don't answer the email.


Ethically, tell the truth.

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Ethically, tell the truth. Legally, if there were any papers signs about this "friendship incentive", it might be another story.


Really?

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

I don't care what anybody says, this whole thing is a sham. A very good one at that. This is playing out like a soap opera because... it is a soap opera. Pure fiction. Very entertaining though.


I don't care what this is,

- submitted by thegrrl on 09/02/2009

I don't care what this is, it's funny and i've had neighbors who remind me of these guys, particularly Paul. Paul is the nightmare neighbor. You think he can't exist until he moves next door. Then you're screwed. The right thing here is to tell the friend to avoid Paul like the plague but I hope it goes the other way 'cause i want to see this continue.


I had a neighbor like the

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

I had a neighbor like the one here and I'd have done almost anything to get rid of him. No way I tell the other guy about what a freak he is, live and let live, let him find out himself


double entendre

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Slightly over-the-top, firmly tongue-in-cheek...

The impact Paul will have on your neighborhood will not go unnoticed.

All of my neighbors cannot believe how Paul has changed their lives.

Paul's departure from our neighborhood will clearly be felt far and wide.

You will be lucky to have Paul as a valued neighbor.


forward

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

just forward jack the links to these emails, let him make up his own mind.


Luke I am your father

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Luke I am your father


Hoax

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

That twist is way too good for this to be real. I call hoax.


Neutrality

- submitted by The Swiss on 09/02/2009

Say you are unable to give a balanced reference because of personal issues with the applicant.


I've been in this situation

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

I had a weird as @#$% roommate. Worst 12 months of my life. He kept the apartment after I moved out. Prior to that, he'd have potential new roommates come and check the place out.

What do you say to them? "Run"?

It's really not your place to bad mouth someone you know to someone new. Let them pick up on the clues. Buyer beware.


Yeahhhh

- submitted by plozing on 09/02/2009

http://www.siquieropuedo.com


Southpark?

- submitted by Masamura on 09/02/2009

Hey, didn't Southpark ran an episode based on something like that? They kept pushing something to every other village


So obviously fake. For one

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

So obviously fake.

For one thing, 'jack' asks that his email be kept in confidence, and yet he publishes it online? His alleged friend? If this is real, which I doubt, then "John" is a pretty big douchebag too.

Such an obvious fabrication, I can't believe this shit is still going.

Thanks wasting a LOT of people's time, you stupid fucks.


How is this wasting anyone's

- submitted by Aaron on 09/02/2009

How is this wasting anyone's time? Or rather how is anyone's time being wasted that wasn't fully aware of and accepting of that fact. This is a website with the catch phrase of: "Living on the edge...of a patio". A catch phrase which is Trademarked!

Fake? Perhaps. Amusing and a reason for me to pay attention to this site? You betcha. Never knew this beautiful time waster of a website existed until this was posted to Digg. (Which, incidentally, is arguably another great time waster website.)

Don't take life so seriously. And if you are calling me a "stupid fuck", then I would like to introduce myself: Hello Pot. My name is Kettle. News flash: We're black!


Do not reply!

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Do not reply!


Had a neighbor

- submitted by Bogroll on 09/02/2009

Like this years ago... Funny thing, guy was named Paul also.. worse, was head of the POA Horrible self important ass... Everyone hated him. Anyway I think ya gotta give some kind of warning that the guys an asshat... and maybe they let him in anyway, Perhaps they've better ways to manage him there.


of course its fake - some of

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

of course its fake - some of the dates on the emails are the same date but different days of the week.

irrelevant - like the spider guy, its funny and a fun read


"Pure

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

"Pure fiction" Duhhh...obviously they'll keep dragging this for as long as possible. Do you really think a site NOT starved for visitors would keep flogging a story over and over again with embellished little details without providing any info, not even the country where this takes place let alone the state.

So far no one has come forward about knowing this, despite the amount of attention it's got from digg and other sources. It's 100% grade B bull-shit.


Send him this message "Dear

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Send him this message

"Dear Jack, You should first construct a giant tower of Lawn Chairs to be sure its him. Trust me construct the tower and you shall know for sure if its him or not.

John"


I smell a TRAP

- submitted by Gonzobot on 09/02/2009

Seriously. I am assuming that Jack is not his name, that John is smarter than that - but this really does look like a trap email to me. Can't wait to see what happens.


permission...

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Wait, this housing development has to give you PERMISSION to buy a house in it? You have got to be kidding me. I'm hoping this is a rental situation, because if they are doing that to BUY in the neighborhood, I wouldn't want to live in a neighborhood of DOUCHE BAGS like that.

On the flip side, sounds like a perfect match for Paul... he's nosy just like the association, so it ought to work out great!


Yes, permission

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

I live in a "private community" with a homeowner's assn. running things. We have "amenities" such as a winter and summer pool, a large rec/party building, and even a ski hill in the winter. We pay annual dues. The cops don't come in unless they're invited, so no hassles there.

And yes, you have to "apply" and be "approved" before you can buy a home here. Problem is, successive Boards have simply rubber-stamped applications instead of showing some due diligence and discernment that the people they're letting in are actually capable of following a few simple rules of civil conduct and have a track record of paying their bills on time. As a result, about 1/4 of the members don't pay dues or are way behind, yards are trashed out, and their kids are racing ATVs down the roads (a total violation of rules).

So there's another side to this.


Wow

- submitted by JimmyJones on 09/02/2009

Dude thats scary. Whats up with people today?

R www.anonymous-web.be.tc


JabaDabaDoooooooo

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

F-em. Take the letter next door and tell the D-bag that unless he moves and gives you $1000 you'll derail the move AND build 100 more chair towers whilst taking up playing the bongs nude in the back yard.


HuH?

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

This doesn't even make sense any more.... stfu


It's a setup

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Paul is trying to get you to liable him - not unlike a job reference. Don't fall for it - don't respond. If Jack follows up, just say it got caught in spam.


This whole thing was, and

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

This whole thing was, and is, a fake.


ImixAlot

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

As an employer, I have given good recommendations to bad employees just to get them "farther down the road." I see this as no different. Is it truthful and honest? No; however, Paul has been less that upright as well. Look at it this way, Paul has created enough grief for you and all of your neighbors. If he moves on then it is becomes a problem for someone other than you. Quite possibly where he is moving to would have no issue of putting the "legal" bite on him. Karma could have the opportunity to be a real pain in Paul's life. The them he's the greatest thing since sliced bread!!!!


deck chairs

- submitted by Mikey9a on 09/02/2009

Fucked!

Hey John, If you read this, let me tell you: You have other friends. Your loss is Jack's gain. Get rid of this Prick. You don't even really see this other guy.

You see your neighbors everyday. Do it!!!!! reply to him with things like. He is a conscious neighbor who looks out for his neighbors and works hard to keep the neighborhood clean and safe.


Don't tell Jack anything. He

- submitted by karenK on 09/02/2009

Don't tell Jack anything. He should do his own due diligence, maybe crazy Paul will learn his lesson and behave better in a new place.


WRONG ALL THIS TIME

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Actually you should have sued Paul for harassment and any number of civil issues a long time ago. At this point it's probably not too late.

The fact is, you decided to play a game with a crazy neighbor, and now you're drowning in HIS drama. How far will you let Paul take you? Do you enjoy being controlled by HIS behavior?

Call your damn lawyer and force him to stop.


C'mon, guys

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

You do all know this isn't a real argument, but a scripted story, right? Geez, folks.


Don't answer the email. You

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Don't answer the email. You have no duty to respond. To lie to the guy is wrong and has consequences. To answer has consequences vs. Paul and the neighbors. Sometimes doing nothing is the best course of action.


easy to sit here and see all

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

easy to sit here and see all this as your own entertainment, but, assuming it's a real story, John has a chance to be a real dick to a guy he generally likes. Great way to go through life, apparently, from what many say here. John needs to think what kind of person he wants to be in life (dick v. decent) and make his choice. Could discuss with neighbors, but probably would get same response we see here, because none of them know or give a shit about John's friends, least of all Jack. If Jack's homeowners' association denies Paul does not mean Paul is not moving; he's already looking and will keep looking.


You can't say anything bad

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

You can't say anything bad about the guy in email...he could sue your ass off.


Take this opportunity to f*ck with Paul beyond belief

- submitted by apr35 on 09/02/2009

If truly epic is something you would like, respond to Jack with the following:

Jack,

Good to hear from you, can't wait to check out another game soon!

As for Paul...he is the type of neighbor anyone would want. I highly recommend him. Just one thing...he has this thing about lawn chairs...He really loves the things!

If you really want to offer him a warm welcome, on the day he moves in, I'd gather up about 20 lawn chairs and place them on his front lawn. This will really show Paul how welcoming you are and will ensure that he is a positive member of the community. He's such a great guy that I would love to help with this kind welcoming gesture. In fact, I've got some lawn chairs that Paul was particularly fond of that I would be willing to bring by and out in place for Paul 's arrival on his move in date.

Be sure he has sealed that deal and locked himself into the place before you mention anything about the chairs, it will be a much better surprise that way.

Lets grab some beers soon.

All the best,

John


Be careful

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

If this is really occuring you have to be very careful about this guy. Remember the guy who went postal and killed a bunch of people? Your dealing with a man capable of that.

Again, be careful, you may wake up tomorrow and find your kids and friends dead with a note from Paul.

Insanity is like that.


sfw

- submitted by cgw on 09/02/2009

People sure do get worked up about the real/fake debate on this. Who cares? It has been damn entertaining all down the line, regardless of it is real or not. I don't know if it is real, nor do I care. Keep posting them.

This commenter had it right: "The impact Paul will have on your neighborhood will not go unnoticed. All of my neighbors cannot believe how Paul has changed their lives. Paul's departure from our neighborhood will clearly be felt far and wide." Vague and totally open to interpretation.


CGW I gotta agree with you.

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

CGW I gotta agree with you. I don't care if it's fake or not, it's funny. If it's fake it's a good story, and if it's real....god help Paul's new neighbors.


what to do.

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Be upfront. This time. Next time not so. Then again you could ignore until its too late.


tell jack

- submitted by nate taggart on 09/02/2009

passing this guy along to make him someone else's problem, just lets him continue to make people miserable. I think you need to warn Jack.


Warn Jack. From the

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/02/2009

Warn Jack. From the previous emails, I think Paul has made up his mind to move; he'll find some place else where John won't have the same moral dilemma. And, in order to win, John MUST be the bigger person to the end.


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