Woman-Client: You said there was going to be a bidding war.
Real Estate Broker: I did not say war...
Woman-Client: You said we should bid the ask or we'd lose it.
RE Broker: I said, if it were me, I'd bid the ask.
Woman-Client: There was no war. Nobody else was interested. You knew that.
RE Broker: You're upset.
Woman-Client: You lied, we overpaid. Yea, I'm upset.
RE Broker: I hear your feelings...
Woman-Client: Screw my feelings. You owe me $75,000.
--Overheard in: Starbucks, North NJ--
B-Take:
Real estate brokers are easy marks, we'll grant that. But not without reason. Of course, some (well, a few) are terrific, honest, fair-minded. But many aren't, regardless what the national realtor organizations claim.
Some independent surveys find real estate brokers held in lower esteem than lawyers (now, there's an achievement!) and meter maids (who knew meter maids were so lowly regarded; their hats are cute, aren't they?).
Why do so many brokers act so badly? We don't know. But we did ask a bunch of former brokers in our area what they thought. Every one agreed: too many act badly -- in self-interest, concealing or twisting facts, focusing more on their needs than their clients'. Why, we asked? Because, they said, it's an inherently cut-throat, sometimes vicious business and sales culture. Brokers are given little, if any, training. They're thrown out there largely on their own to make it or not. In a contracting housing market, behavior is naturally going to get ugly.
The former brokers spoke of mistrusting most of their former colleagues. Some said they couldn't leave listings open on their desks for fear they'd be stolen. Some colleagues routinely listened in (or tried to) on their calls with clients. Some, especially more experienced ones, stole wavering clients. Few, they said, provided real support or even benevolent neglect.
Our take? Anybody can become a broker. That guy on your block who didn't graduate middle school and has been playing with 8-tracks for the last 15 years in his parents' basement -- an excellent candidate! (OK, maybe we exaggerate, a little.)
In fact, big realtor agencies are filled with unprofessional, untrained "dabblers" who have no real clue what they're doing and no modeling of appropriate standards from peers. Yes, actual "realtors" have to get trained and licensed to join the national or state realty organizations. But, guess what: their training (despite what they claim) is limited -- lawyers go to school for 3 years, and look how they turn out! -- and most people who sell houses aren't licensed realtors anyway... they're just part of the agencies' mill, stay-at-home moms and dads, people in transition, people experimenting with new careers, escaping corporate life, on sabbatical, rehab-release, whatever.
Our own experience with brokers mirrors the negative clichés. Recently we started looking to buy a house. We "experienced" several brokers -- and, after 6 weeks, we paused, mostly because we couldn't take the nonsense anymore. We needed what many call a "broker vacation."
Apart from the usual showing of houses that weren't in the same galaxy of the type we insisted we wanted ("uh, guess what, that windowless Tudor with the dungeon isn't quite what we meant when we said, "airy colonial")...it was the constant nonsensical spin and twisting of reality, and the intellectual laziness and stupidity, that did us in.
A few of our "broker-stupidity" highlights?...
A house we wanted and made an offer on, last minute turned out to have an oil tank buried in the front yard and (shock!) the tank was leaking oil profusely. Our Broker's Reaction: "It's a blessing. Now you know and you can have it cleaned up. It's a good thing, you're lucky." Our Reply: Are you an idiot? (Actually we used a less politically correct term, sorry, but we were angry; the word we used was, "retarded."). Our Radical POV: Finding a leaking oil tank in the yard, one that had already spread into 2 neighbors' yards, was really not a "blessing." It was a pain in the ass. And, all things being equal, we'd prefer not to buy a house that the state and federal EPA agencies would be investigating and testing for the next 2 years.
A house loaded with asbestos. Our Broker: "You know, many people believe the dangers of asbestos have been greatly exaggerated?" Our Reply: Are you retarded? (Kidding, we didn't say that.) We Did Say: You mean the 3 brokers at your office who share your desk, those people have done the research and assessed that the asbestos risk is exaggerated? Guess what, we're not inclined to rely on them!
A Victorian house, revealed (last second) to have no central AC: Broker: "The breeze from the attic will cool the house completely. That's how Victorians are, you don't need A.C." Our Response: But it's May and we're in the living room, and it feels like a sauna in here now. Broker's Counter: "But it's unusually hot for May." (Yea, you mean like summer, you dumb....)
And so on . . . .
We're not here to indict the industry. (Apparently those who used to be in it do a pretty good job of that.) But our experiences have almost consistently sucked. Marked by misinformation, disinformation, wasted time, silliness and, too often, sheer idiocy.
We hope to get our house someday. And we'll probably use a broker. But it will probably be painful. And we'll have to take breaks. (We understand regular hydration is key.) And we'll have to try to be more tolerant and patient. And, we will definitely make our decisions on our own, as if our broker is pretty much not there.
But that's just us....
What do you think?...overhear more
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