 |
|
Subscribe to Our Newsletter  BlogRoll
|
 Burbia Blogs- added on 08/23/2008 Household Limbo: How Low Can You Go?When I asked my friend Anne how her transition from stay-at-home mom to fulltime work had gone, she said, "I didn't open the mail for six months! Something's got to give."  Sally Owen, who lives in North Carolina, holds down a fulltime job and also manages a household that...read more It's true. When you're juggling job, kids, husband, pets and house, often something does have to give. I've never given up on the mail, but I have played a game I call Household Limbo: How Low Can You Go? It's like being the anti-Martha Stewart. I'm always trying to determine how far things can fall without falling apart. You'd be surprised. For example, I have learned that you can go pretty much indefinitely without changing your children's beds. (Post potty training, of course.) I get fed up after a couple of weeks of gritty sheets, but the kids just don't seem to care. I have dispensed with top sheets altogether. They always ended up in a wad at the end of the bed anyway. (I'm not a big fan of daily bed-making, either.) So, get a washable comforter and a well-fitted bottom sheet, and voila! Making the bed is a snap. Until they hit puberty, kids can go quite a long time without a bath. I was always puzzled by my friends who had elaborate, time-consuming daily bath rituals for their babies. Babies don't really get dirty until they start eating solid food. Until then, you can take care of most of it with a damp washcloth. The dog can go forever without bathing, as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, she stinks, but she's a dog. I've never been a stickler for kids wearing pajamas, either. Who cares if they sleep in their clothes? I do require that they remove their shoes, but that just takes a sec. Confession: On more than one late morning my children have been packed off to school in the clothes they slept in. My brother took this a step further and put on his clean clothes the night before to save time in the morning. My family will eat pasta and salad without complaint every single day. My son loves the pasta trifecta - macaroni for all three meals. Ditto for pizza, but that gets expensive. Baby carrots are always in my fridge (though I wonder: can something that keeps so long possibly have any nutritional value?) and are pressed into service regularly as "the vegetable." And, while I wouldn't recommend this as a daily practice, once as I was headed out of town for the weekend I put the dirty dishes in the refrigerator (as a temporary measure.) See, it's always the house that slides. At work, I have a boss. At home, I am the boss. But there have been times when I've let things slip too far. I've had several cleaning ladies quit on me. One got exasperated with having the family underfoot (we were trying to pick up the house one room ahead of her.) She exclaimed, "I can't clean like this!" I'm thinking, who is she, Greta Garbo? Another time, unbeknownst to me, there was dog poop in the office when the cleaner came in. I was mortified when she called to say she couldn't work for me anymore because my house wasn't "hygienic." That seemed a bit extreme - as far as I know, nobody has ever contracted a disease. You might think from all of this that I'm just a slacker and a slob. You would be wrong. I'd much prefer a tidy house and three square meals a day. But when life threatens to come crashing down around my ears, I think of Anne and the pile of unopened mail. And I know it's time to play another round of Household Limbo. markbecker ??Sat, 08/23/2008 ?? 10:34
  No kidding, this is - submitted by Anonymous on 05/23/2008
No kidding, this is hilarious, i'm reading my own life! Husband? - submitted by Anonymous on 05/27/2008
Why is there no mention of the husband's role in all of this? Are you going to let him off the hook that easily? It's like you're at my house - submitted by Anonymous on 05/27/2008
It's like you're at my house definitely. Folding laundry has been abandoned. We've also 98% given up our outside cat to a neighbor. We certainly don't feed him anymore but he does come by occasionally to pee on our floor. Kids? - submitted by Anonymous on 05/27/2008
Also, how is it that the teen-aged and pre-teen children can't make their own beds? Wouldn't it be better to help the children to become self-sufficient? the beauty of the unmade bed - submitted by Anonymous on 05/27/2008
hmm...If making a bed is what counts as "self-sufficiency," I guess I'm in need of serious custodial care. Haven't made my bed in 30 years, and wouldn't want my pre-teen kid to waste her time on it, either, when she could be reading a book, playing with friends, or helping our elderly neighbor carry her groceries. Now, making the family mac and cheese? THAT'S a life skill I'll encourage! Phew! - submitted by melanie on 05/27/2008
Well, Sally, I'm pleased to know that you can drop by my house any-ole-time because you won't be one of those "white-fingered-glove friends" that judges me by how much dust there is on my glass shelves! What a relief! So when you and Richard are walking by, feel free to come to the door, I now know I don't need to scramble and straighten things up! Making beds - submitted by Texas gal on 05/27/2008
I just read in the St. Petersburg Times that some scientists in England proved that it's unhealthy to make your bed because it encourages growth of little mites. Much better to throw back the covers and let the bed air out! No kidding! Nostalgia - submitted by Anonymous on 05/31/2008
I can't remember ever dressing a bed with more than a bottom sheet and a comforter. I routinely put on my fresh clothes at night so that they will feel right in the morning. I have pondered over how baby carrots, which never die, can be nutritious. Our family dog lived to a ripe old age without ever experiencing a bath. I have hidden dirty dishes in the oven as company arrives. Any yet all of our kids (you among them)have flourished despite jeans for pj's and unorthodox meals. Your report delights me beyond what words can express. Dad This is me, except I do it - submitted by Miss Cellania on 06/01/2008
This is me, except I do it without the husband or the cleaning lady. The way I look at it, the kids made the mess, they can deal with it. Or else I can slack off my duties of driving them where they need to go and paying for their fun. You are a woman after my own - submitted by Angie Cagle on 06/01/2008
You are a woman after my own heart. I laughed the whole way - submitted by Kathy on 06/05/2008
I laughed the whole way through this! My husband and I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and an 8 week old. We groan every other Thursday when we realize the cleaning ladies are coming tomorrow and we actually have to "pick up" the whole house! I can't imagine how the other working parents would do it without a cleaning lady -- our house would never get clean, or even picked up for that matter! Chicken nuggets (in the microwave of course), easy mac and canned green beans rule in our house. ummm yuk - submitted by Anonymous on 07/04/2008
dude.. u'r kinda just gross....make time to clean cause u sound like... dirty Right On! - submitted by Elizabeth on 07/24/2008
Wow, what a refreshing read! While I have the lofty goals of weekly sheet changes and a balanced menu of no-repeats, actually meeting those goals week after week is more fantasy than reality. How nice to read that I'm not alone, and realize that our kids really are fine without the Martha treatment. : )  |
|
||||
©2008 Burbia Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. |
52 likes 
.frontpage.jpg)
