- submitted by Linda Keenan on 07/04/2008
It's July 4th. Do You Know Where Your Politics Are?
By Linda Keenan
I think I've figured out why pollsters always ask, "which candidate would you most like to have at your barbecue?" After a few years living in the suburbs, I'm starting to fear that's all anyone cares about: their barbecues.
I am not an intensely political person. I do lean in one direction but I'm not one of those people who pontificates, debates, or exhaustively analyzes every earmark and every judicial appointment that each candidate has made. I wish I were, because then it would show I care more. But I do care just enough to put out my candidate's sign on our lawn, and that makes me a very exotic bird in my town.
I have seen perhaps four signs (all for one candidate) in my entire town of 26 thousand souls. My signage arrived recently, and I was faced with explaining to my four-year old son Frank what it was. I hope I did better than I did when explaining what God is (this was my panic answer: "ummm, errr, well, he's like an invisible superhero!"). I said to him, "two people are in a contest to be President. You like contests, right? The President is the person who will make very important choices for all of us and there are a lot of big choices to make. He will be the most important person where we live (my son has no clue what America is). They are both good people, but Mommy and Daddy think one would make better choices than the other, so we're putting this sign on our lawn to show that we like him and want him to win the contest."
I thought that was pretty clear, but then when a strong storm blew through that afternoon, and the sign started flopping around, Frank, visibly worried, looked outside and said "but if it falls down, how will we welcome the President?"
Well, the message got muddled, but at least he knows something crucial (like an election, maybe?) is going on. As for the rest of my neighbors and friends who drive by (I live on a major road), no one has made a peep.
Now, the conventions haven't even happened yet, so the great political awakening in my suburb could still happen. Granted, I did work in news, so I'm naturally more interested in these topics than most. And I grew up in Albany, New York, where if you didn't have the right political lawn sign, you could lose your job (that was a long time ago, when the legendary Albany machine was still churning in full gear, and, in the family lore, my dad supposedly lost a job because of it.) So maybe I'm hard-wired to expect more political displays than other folks. Maybe my suburban citizenry is sitting around getting their politics on at home, online. But somehow I doubt it.
I am mostly met with blank stares when I even mention the upcoming election (I would say I have 2 out of 20 friends in town who ever discuss it). I would like to believe that it's because people are just adhering to the "religion and politics=toxic topics" rule. But I fear that it's simple apathy. My town votes Republican and presumably a few Republicans might have been irritated with that whole kerfuffle a while back over Barack Obama not wearing the flag pin. And yet, almost no one has a flag outside their house, about as many as those with political signs. And for those who do fly the flag, it looks almost as if they are trying to make their house look stately rather than to demonstrate patriotism.
It seems strange, in a way, to think of the suburbs as so apolitical. Most of us are here to raise children. We are resolutely focused on the future, our childrens' future, but that doesn't seem to translate into caring very much about who the next President will be. And look at what we're facing: a war in which the exit plan is far from clear, an economy and environment on the brink, a health care system that's already a mess and may break entirely as Baby Boomers retire in increasing numbers, the continuing threat of terrorism. The two candidates offer starkly different approaches to all these hugely serious problems.
I should add that I have seen the occasional outbreak of political fervor, but it is resolutely local, in keeping with the dictum from the legendary pol Tip O'Neill. Property taxes, school rebuilding fights do seem to rouse the sleeping electorate. That seems natural, but you'd think a few people would take the long view and see that the next President will also affect their children's and grandchildren's future, not to mention their own 401K's and Medicare bennies.
I've already been thinking about having an election night party because I'd like someone, anyone to watch the returns with, and as I write this, I'm thinking I'll have an ironic barbecue, November weather be damned. (It's always appalled me that so many people seem to vote on the basis of who they'd most like to have at their barbecue. I understand that likeability is a natural component in the choice for President but doesn't it seem like that's all some people care about?) I'd be happy to invite any candidate to come to my barbecue (that means you too, Ralph Nader and Ron Paul! BYOB!) I mean, how cool would that be? (OMG, sounding like the dreaded Rachael Ray). But I think the candidates have more important things to do than eat wings at my house.
Linda Keenan is a contributing writer at Burbia. Linda worked 7 years as a head writer/senior producer for various programs on CNN. Before that she worked as a writer/producer for Bloomberg TV. She now writes satire, primarily about parenting culture, at Thoroughly Modern Mommy...read more rants
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