- submitted by . on 05/30/2009
Dandelions Are Flowers Too!
Spring is coming and we want to announce the formation of a new activist group. We wouldn't call it a lobbying group because that has a bunch of tax and free speech implications but it's a group nonetheless -- we know because we got the guy down the street to join us...he had already unknowingly joined by not mowing his lawn in 6 years (we could live without the freezer chest out front) but still, he's enthusiastically with us -- and we're here now to focus attention on a long neglected fact: Dandelions Are Flowers Too!
They're not, of course. Not literally. They're weeds in the strictist sense. But that's semantics. Dandelions are as "pretty" as many flowers. "Prettier" in fact. (Have you seen the 'Corpse' flower? Check it out below.*) It's time they got their due.
More importantly and to our point, we want to put our neighbors on notice: We're not spending our Spring and Summers trying to eradicate these beautiful precious flowers from our lawns. Forget it. You don't like our dandelion-kissed lawns, sue us, or deal with it. But we're not applying insidious toxic weed killers and we're not going to labor and freak out over the inevitable appearance of yet another dandelion whose fertile seeds apparently -- as nature intended, of course -- explode onto our properties in the 10s of 1000s every time there's a mild breeze.
Look how beautiful they are. That's what our lawns are going to look like. And we're going to have picnics and play horse shoes and go horse riding and maybe raise some sheep and...well, no we're not. But we could (if our over-restrictive town zoning regs would let us and, OK, if we weren't too lazy and really had no interest in any of that).
But what we are going to do is spend a lot more time over the weekends this Spring and Summer in our entertainment rooms watching games or playing games or maybe even (once in a while) going outside and playing games. We're going to do what we want.
We are not going to worry about the dandelions. We are going to enjoy them. We're going to let them -- these golden gifts from the hand of...well, these gifts -- grow free, grow wild and bless us all and all our neighborhood with what nature truly intended.
Oh yea, and we're going to do this instead of what so many of you, our dear neighbors do...erect abominations of landscape-sculpted bushes and shrubs all over your lawns in the shapes of popsicles and cork screws -- and whatever those things are on the corner of the Philips' property (on Maple Street) that absolutely look like a row of giant penises. 
So join us. Throw down your sprays and spades and weed wackers and celebrate the yellow. Join our newly launched, growing (like a weed) group: The Dandelions-Are-Flowers-Too-&-We're-Going-To-Watch-TV-Instead-Of-Weeding-Them Global Social Relief Organization Movement (LLC).
*[FYI, this pic is of a Corpse flower. 
Looks more like a crumpled up dish rag nestled in withered lettuce. Apparently also its 'fragrance' is execrable...hence the name. Corpse flowers or dandelions? We choose dandelions.]...read more rants
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